Separation Anxiety

When I was a little girl, I hated sleeping away from home. My poor dad would pick me up from every slumber party at midnight, after I had joined in on all of the fun but still had no desire to sleep anywhere but my own bed. The thought of having to stay overnight elsewhere gave me the most awful sinking feeling. My stomach would hurt, I felt cold and sweaty at the same time and panic would just sweep over me. Eventually, of course, I outgrew the separation anxiety. (Thank God, because it was a 2 hour drive from home to Denison and that would have been a long four years for poor Dad!). But I still remember that terrible feeling like it was yesterday.

Leave it to me to adopt a dog with the same issues. A few months ago, Dorey started crying every time Mike and I left the house. When we came home, she would be wide-eyed and panting. Dorey has been deserted by at least two other families in her short life and has spent the ample time in between at different shelters. Not hard to believe the poor girl has abandonment issues. It breaks my heart. So for her sake (and, trust me, for that of our thus far understanding neighbors!), Mike and I have been doing everything in our power to work through this issue. We have the dog appeasement pheromone that the vet recommended plugged in and have wrapped Dorey in a "Thundershirt" to try and calm her anxiety. (My sister wanted to know where she could get a human-sized "Thundershirt," and I told her they were called "straightjackets." Still...makes you think someone should look into marketing an adult-size swaddle!) We've been taking Dorey to daycare a few days a week so she can run out some of her energy, and have even taken the advice of trainers and distanced ourselves from her in little ways "to give her more confidence being alone." For the most part, we've seen a ton of improvement. But it's hard! The training makes ME nervous! I swear, on top of the brand new irrational fears that have been dominating my existance ("Oh my God, our neighbors are going to hate us. We'll just never, ever be able to leave the house ever again!"), I am the one having separation anxiety now!

On Tuesday, I dropped Dorey at daycare, hit the gym and swung back home to shower and prep for a photo shoot. I walked into our dark, quiet house and was instantly smacked in the face by an overwhelming feeling of emptiness. For a second, I was transported back to the lonely, miserable month Mike and I spent after our little cat Oz passed away, before we found Dorey. And suddenly the bright point in this black dot showed itself: She's so worth it. I realized then just how much happiness Dorey has brought us. She's the one who makes our house a home. And you have to give her credit...it's very telling, the amount of love and loyalty that's packed into this little 25-pound dog, to make her cry when we're gone. So we will keep working on the barking thing. And hopefully I can maintain perspective as we do!

Gold Stars this week go to:
*Family: You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em.

*Time's Healing Powers: Hopefully a year from now, I will look back on Dorey's barking fits and be able to laugh. "Phew, so glad she outgrew that!"

*Charlie Sheen: Because as out of control as I feel sometimes, things could be soooooooooo much worse.